you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It's blow job season.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
If its not for food we ain't going out.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
