I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Two words: blizzard sex
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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