champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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