NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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