girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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