I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
