remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Randomize
