she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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