O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize