i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
