I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
