its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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