i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
