If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
