Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize