his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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