We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
