My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
