Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
