i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
