I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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