it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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