He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
