my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
