Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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