I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Randomize
