I wannas sexs uuuuu
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
My ass is underappreciated
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize