I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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