Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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