return my video game
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
