You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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