i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
