Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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