YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
