lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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