I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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