The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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