Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
