We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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