sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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