he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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