just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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