We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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