That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
