maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize