But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
