she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
