I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
