how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize