week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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