Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Blood and glitter go together right?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
