just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize