My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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