I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
