his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
