Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
