I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
