It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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