I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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