Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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