btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
