Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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