OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
