He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
