Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
