Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize