My underwear smells like fireworks.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
