Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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