Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t yaâ€
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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