Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
